Obruo

… now. Nothing like almost kililng yourself to keep from getting depressed more. Bally’s isn’t open tommorow but I’m going to hit it again on thursday for a couple hours after work and friday too… keep doing it until I feel good again.

Happy New Years Everyone!

Gonna go update all my personnal ads with my new better pic and update the text a bit.

Wither by Shadus

Wither body wither, life drains away,
longer night engulfs shorter days.
Everyone speaks of bliss to me,
I see things you appear to be.
I shall smile at the wreathes of snow,
blossoms only where roses should grow.
I shall sing of the nights decay,
when it crushes the lonely day.

… found this poem, like it alot… (4th verse on especially)

Stephen Vincent Benet
Elegy for an Enemy

Say, does that stupid earth
Where they have laid her,
Bind still her sullen mirth,
Mirth which betrayed her?
Do the lush grasses hold,
Greenly and glad,
That brittle-perfect gold
She alone had?

Smugly the common crew,
Over their knitting,
Mourn her — as butchers do
Sheep-throats they’re slitting!
She was my enemy,
One of the best of them.
Would she come back to me,
God damn the rest of them!

Damn them, the flabby, fat,
Sleek little darlings!
We gave them tit for tat,
Snarlings for snarlings!
Squashy pomposities,
Shocked at our violence,
Let not one tactful hiss
Break her new silence!

Maids of antiquity,
Look well upon her;
Ice was her chastity,
Spotless her honor.
Neighbors, with breasts of snow,
Dames of much virtue,
How she could flame and glow!
Lord, how she hurt you!

She was a woman, and
Tender — at times!
(Delicate was her hand)
One of her crimes!
Hair that strayed elfinly,
Lips red as haws,
You, with the ready lie,
Was that the cause?

Rest you, my enemy,
Slain without fault,
Life smacks but tastelessly
Lacking your salt!
Stuck in a bog whence naught
May catapult me,
Come from the grave, long-sought,
Come and insult me!

WE knew that sugared stuff
Poisoned the other;
Rough as the wind is rough,
Sister and brother!
Breathing the ether clear
Others forlorn have found –
Oh, for that peace austere
She and her scorn have found!

… but does have really good links to other sites personality types results, so if you know your personality type it’s a good place to look things up from. Anyways…

My Bloginality is INFP!!

… thespark.com and got

DREAMER (Submissive Introvert Abstract Feeler )

Shadus
Like just 11% of the population you are a DREAMER (SIAF)–reserved and imaginative. You are basically the shy, silent type. You don’t have much interest in facts and figures or most of what’s going on around you, but the internal worlds you build for yourself are rich and complex.

Luckily, your creativity and strong heart mean you have a deep personality evident to anyone who gets to know you. It’s just that not many people do, because most everyone thinks you’re a loser. Talk to yourself less, other people more, little shaver.

Spark tests are just funny.

Went and worked out today for a few hours, that was good for me I think, helped me forget and work alot of things out, I can exhaust myself totally and just let life happen if I can exhaust my body physically. Helps some days.